Friday, July 10, 2015

You can not "keep" a man

A man decides whether or not he wants to be with you.
Whether it his lack of appreciation or failure to see your worth, or something you did to cause the break up you can not "keep a man"
Listen to these memes on social media have women thinking all men are kids that need constant attention and supervision.
These memes and "relationship experts" will have you thinking men are a job to be kept.
Love is not hard. Men are not kids. Men are not jobs. Men are not God (whatever that means to you) so please stop using "keep a man" in your vocabulary.
To think that a man can be "kept" means you think he is superior and that you put a man's needs and wants before your own.
It also implies that you don't have enough trust in a man to realize that there is no way ANYONE can fulfill all the wants and needs of ANOTHER human being. Happiness comes from within.
To believe that anytime a man leaves a woman is because he wasn't getting enough of his needs and wants implies that you believe your self worth is tied to what a man thinks of you. It also promotes the idea that men are superior and above flaws.
Could it be that this man left because he invested too much time and energy sucking the energy from another woman and it wasn't enough because he wasn't conscious enough to know that women are not entitled to him, and that another person should add to the happiness you ALREADY have?
Could it be that this man was using the woman all along?
Moral of the story : Stop tying your SELF WORTH to whether or not you have a man to share your life with.
Being single and not being compatible with someone is not pathological.
What is pathological is staying in unhappy and unhealthy relationships where you have no voice, no love, no loyalty,no growth,and you can't rise to your feminine calling all for the sake of saying "I know how to keep a man" "at least I got a man""I've been with my man for 10 years"
Rise up women. YOU are MORE than your service to a man. ‪#‎CreWisdom‬

The BS of living in a male centered world

 Most of you won't read this because it's not what you want to hear.
We live in a male-centered world where some men constantly throw women under the bus for doing the same messy things as men and he gets the support of men and women , but if you are a woman uplifting other women and letting them know they don't have to be phased by what a man thinks you're the enemy.
Single dads are heroes, but single moms should have just kept their legs closed and chose better.
Treating women like doormats has always been the norm and if she accepts it or is with a man that hurts her it's her own fault,but when women do the dirt "times are changing" "women don't know their place" and now women need to stop hurting these poor men.
Women are killed, raped, and assaulted over simple shit like not giving her phone number out, for dressing "too sexy", and for simply existing and we spend so much time teaching women how not to be a victim than changing these entitlement mindsets.
Yet when a man is killed by cop we all want to rally,riot, and pray for our Black men..
Incarcerated Black men get more love and support than single mothers. "free my boy" that robbed and killed people everybody make mistakes don't judge." Then turn around and get mad at a single mom for putting a man on child support or having a lot of kids and call her bitches and hoes.
They do all this talk about men being providers and protectors but men can't step to his fellow man and call him out on his bullshit.
Yet as I point these things out, I am being negative and "throwing men under the bus" or I hate men or "causing division" when all day men police women's clothing, hair, career choices, entertainment choices...
I dare you go to walk up and start talking negatively about women in a crowd or on Facebook and watch how men and women clap and join in.
Now I dare you to call out men on their privilege and real bullshit other than entertainment choices and nonsense ,and watch how many excuses get made and how much hate you receive for daring to ask a man to be accountable for his actions instead of "a man do what you allow" bullshit.
Then the bitter black woman is the ultimate threat to society, yet being the bitter black man is normal because he has such a hard life and be careful how you talk to him but if we get called a bitch we just need to get over it.
There is something wrong when society constantly calls women the weaker sex, but does everything in it's power to protect the feelings and ego of men.
Let all that sink in without your need to defend or be right. It is what it is.‪#‎CreWisdom‬ ‪#‎fighttoendsexism‬ ‪#‎openyoureyes‬

PSA with Expletives to silencers and misogynists

PSA with EXPLETIVES: Let me throw this out here for a quick minute to you simple minded, unsympathetic Black men or non- Black men who have something to say when I am sharing an example or dropping knowledge on Black women being victimized.
DO NOT come on my damn comments talking about " you do know that Black women aren't the only ones that go through this right" as a way to save the Black man's collective image or stick up for other women. What you are doing is trying to silence me so we can normalize victimization and clean the hands of these sick, delusional, and lost Black men who are victimizing BLACK WOMEN>
IF I make a post specifically pertaining to BLACK women it does not mean that I am not aware of other women going through it. I speak for Black women because if you hadn't noticed BLACK women are victimized more than any other race/ethnic group of women and NO ONE gives a damn. I don't see white women, asian, and latino women OR even Black men giving a damn about Black women except for when you need to blame somebody for something or need a backbone to load all of your BS on.
MY message to you :SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN.
IF you see it as offensive when a white person says "well cops kill white people too" as an attempt to silence and demean your experience when talking SPECIFICALLY about a Black victim knowing that BLACK people are victimized and targeted more then PLEASE know it is the same concept.
IF OTHER GROUPS of women are so concerned then they have a voice like I do. I DO support other victims but MY FOCUS is on BLACK WOMEN because I can't AFFORD to HOPE that OTHER groups of WOMEN and MEN be the voice for me. BLACK WOMEN are the voice and backbone to EVERYONE but her self. Including the raggedy ass Black men who can't say anything when they see a woman being disrespected or victimized YET we still going on and on fighting for them.
The next man that comes to my page "but white men do it too" "but other women get treated like it too" I promise you if I go off on you or block you do not be surprised.
I don't give a shit what white men or any other men do to women at this point. I DO CARE AS a genuine and loving human being that sympathizes with ANYONE dealing with pain but at the end of the day THEY aren't the ones stalking, harassing, calling black women bedwenches and thots, beating, raping, and knocking up women just to abandon their child to the majority of our Black women. IT AIN'T ABOUT YOU BOO! I AM NOT HERE TO SUGARCOAT AND DENY REAL PROBLEMS THAT WHITE MEN AND OTHER MEN CAN NOT FIX. AT SOME POINT BLACK MEN MUST BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND IT STARTS WITH CUTTING OFF THE CODDLING, EXCUSES, AND DENIAL.
MY PASSION for justice of BLACK WOMEN will never die unless I die so if YOU have a problem with me trying to make others aware of the victimization of Black women then feel free to unfollow or unfriend. I promise you that you hold no value to my life and I won't know you are gone.
Now, BACK to your regularly scheduled program. **drops the damn mic while playing PASTOR TROY MUSIC**

They only ask about "morals" when it comes to slut-shaming, homophobia, and Black people fighting back and "distractions"

Ever notice how anytime you mention anything about values and morals in this country not existing anymore the first example a person can bring up is women having sexual freedom(code word :hoes,thots, sluts), and more people "turning" gay and gay people getting married? Black people are "out of control" now ?
Oh Lawd it's so many fags around us! Women not quiet and reserved no more oh no the world is ending!"
Yet they have nothing to say about rape, domestic violence, murder, child abuse, institutional racism, deadbeat parents, and other issues.
It's completely fine to see a video with women twerking around a rapper but noo let a gay guy Twerk "this country has no morals left!"
It is completely fine for a man to sleep with 50 women in his city but if a woman does it she is the neighborhood jump off. "We need more moral women!!!"
It's completely fine for a white person to kill another white person. Won't be on the news or newspaper unless it is a murder suicide. If a white cop kills a white person they almost always get fired or convicted.
Black person kills a black person. Black person gets killed by cop and black people are enraged. Then they say "what were they wearing " well black people kill each other all the time. What about black on black crime!!"
White people burn couches, cars and fights after their football or basketball team loses. Trashing the street and breaking beer bottles. No big deal just mad white people.
Black people rioting over dead black people "look at those Savages! No morals!"
Black man gets an attitude at cop,runs, or remains respectable after getting called a nigger or distracted: gets shot.
White man curses out cop and gets violent : A warning or fine .Live to see another day
Understand this: Nothing is "immoral" until a woman does what men do, black people do what white people do, and gay people do what straight people do.
Never mind those 64,000 Black girls and women missing in America. Look there is a guy wearing a dress and makeup!
Oh look a woman who loves her body,is not dependent on a man and has sexual freedom
Oh look a Black person not afraid of what white people think and stands up for themselves!
Oh look a black person that appreciates their blackness! How dare they want dolls,emojis, and movie characters to look like them! How dare they wear their natural hair!
Let's talk shit about them! ‪#‎distractions‬ ‪#‎CreWisdom‬

Everyone is allowed to share their pain EXCEPT BLACK WOMEN

Blog post anyone?
People have a hard time seeing others acknowledge their painful experiences. Especially when it comes to women of color.
I realize that when Black women decide to empower themselves by saying "I'm strong" or "I won't allow a man to walk over me" it's called "man bashing".
If we point out misogyny and sexism as it relates to Black culture Non-colored people always say "well all women go through this"
Acknowledging that intersections exist is so difficult for them and if you happen to focus on Black women's experiences it must mean we are excluding others and ignoring others pain.
Why have we got to a place that if we FOCUS in on OUR experiences that it is called not caring about other races of women?
Why is caring about ourselves so "hateful" to you? Why is empowering ourselves so hateful to you?
It's the people who are supposed to be open-minded who deny Black experiences and want to get rid of the whole race thing so they won't have to a. lose their white friends b. They believe acknowledging racism is enabling to black people c. If they are not black they want to ignore racism and intersections because any systems of oppression are supposedly imaginary.
It's funny how everyone is allowed to express their pains and frustrations, EXCEPT Black women and people.
Everyone is allowed to praise their culture and acknowledge history in their culture, EXCEPT Black people.
Everyone is allowed to point the finger at Black women and how we supposedly ruin the world, but the moment Black women acknowledge that he has been abused or felt defeated at some time at the hands of a Black man she is "bitter" or "man hating"
Then you want to convince me that race is just a biological construct
So this means all races, black people included are biologically motivated to ignore Black voices pointing out racism, sexism, misogyny, and homophobia "playing the victim" and countering it with "black people aren't the only ones who experience that" when that is obvious.
I'm not buying it. People are socialized to hate Blackness, Black people included.
Call me "divisive" , "man hating", and "race baiting" all you want I SEE what the hell is going on.
If acknowledging ways that racism, sexism, and misogyny affects everyone and focusing on marginalized groups offend you or piss you off or make you feel like others are being ignored then that is YOU with your faulty thinking.‪#‎CreWisdom‬.

Friday, November 21, 2014

When will black men stop ignoring and denying rape and domestic violence to defend the black male image?

I am gonna ruffle some feathers and I am sure many will just scroll on by and say "I wish she would shut up" but I don't care.


I hate to say this but many black people disgust me with how dysfunction is defended while many protest and hoop and holla about Blue Ivy's hair! 


Whenever a black man is accused of rape or domestic violence dispute here are the following beliefs :
She probably deserved it.
She asked for it.
She's lying.
Just another woman trying to bring a black man down.


For those of you who lack knowledge of rape culture it isn't uncommon for several victims to come out after someone else shares their story. Many women keep their stories to themselves because they know the sexist world we live in.

They know that for every downfall it's the woman's fault.

 They know that they will be called liars because according to society women are inherently evil.

They know that society treat men like animals in that if a man does wrong it is because he could not control himself so you must walk on eggshells to avoid being beat,mistreated or raped.


Notice anytime a woman is accused of molestation NO one bats an eye to even see if there is an opportunity for a lie to be involved?

 No but when a man is accused he is automatically the victim.


Are there some sleezy women who try to come for wealthy men? Yes but please acknowledge the FACT that rapist have no color or socioeconomic status. Please take a look at the numbers of poor men being accused.

The ONLY reason why you don't see more stories of wealthy rapist and it takes YEARS maybe a decade for victims to get alleged justice is because no one wants to believe them.
You mean to tell me that over 10 women have came forward and were paid settlements and there is no possible way Bill could have raped them? The reason why the stories keep circulating is because people ignored it the first time!


There are probably more victims sitting back cringing at the very comments you all make and keeping it on the hush. Why? Because obviously the only issues you care about is when a woman hurts a man. The only issues you care about is when a white man does something to someone black.


Black men do me a favor and stop trying so hard to defend the black male image. You take any issue where a woman is victimized and make it about the war on Black men.
White men rape. Black men rape. Women rape too. Women lie. Men lie.There are you happy??
Now that you can move that mental block creating the cognitive dissonance?


There is a STRONG chance with a small window of doubt that the man you are a fan of is a serial rapist. Will you make this about you or actually care about the victims?


Please do some studying on the rape culture and pull your head out of your ass for a minute to understand that you could be wrong! It is okay to be wrong ya know?


I am so sick of sexism and misogyny, especially as it relates to Black people and their need to defend bullshit like rape and domestic violence against women.

I swear I have stood by and supported many cases of our black men being victims of police brutality ,men not being a part of their kids life because of stupid baby mamas, and I often talk to women about how to respect men and lift their men up ,but I see I need to focus solely on women and children issues if our men can not prove that they have the black woman's back AND stop blaming white folks for everything.


If you think the Cosby allegations having anything to do with a group of white women singling out Bill because he is black please delete me as a friend. Clearly, your "everyone out to get us" mentality is clouding your ability to think! (No denying y'all have it hard ).


Last,but not least, don't you dare call yourself a leader if you can not call out a man that looks like you on his bullshit!


At some point you have to put your feelings aside, and mommy issues and educate yourself on matters other than what you experience!

 If you believe EVERY single black men who was accused of some heinous crime is innocent and EVERY said victim is a liar it is probably a bias or some sort of hate for women you are holding on to. It is probably some kind of pain and your frustration that black men get accused of things all the time. You use issues like this to take personal because you feel you need to defend the black male image. The problem in your thinking is that you are trying to protect yourself from judgement from other races.

 Black men are NOT the only ones to rape, abuse, kill, or be violent towards each other. YOU don't have to defend EVERY man who is accused. YOU were not there and just because you have a hard time believing that women are being victimized does not mean it does not exist. Just because you were taught that all women are greedy,liars, and manipulative does not mean it is fact. Just because you can point out a handful of stories where women were lying or you THOUGHT they were lying does not make it fact.

You have NO IDEA how many women take rape to their graves because they are afraid to tell someone and afraid to get in front of a sexist officer that asks her "what were you wearing? Were you drinking? It is your fault." All things that does not matter in reality. With that said, don't assume that when you have a case of an alleged serial rapist that a group of women are just plotting to bring a man down. Don't assume that just because a woman breaks her speech after a decade that it didn't happen.

In the same breath, you defend a man you don't personally know and say "everything the media says isn't true" "every accusation isn't fact" I can easily say just because you don't want to see your favorite comedian in a negative light doesn't mean the accusations aren't true. Just because you are trying hard to defend the black male image does not mean that Bill or any other man is telling the truth.


If you care more to learn about rape go to www.rainn.org to see the statistics and history. If you want to go even further how about study the psychology and sociology of women and men. Take a history class to learn about the oppression of women. Just as you feel black males are oppressed, women are too. And to go even deeper black women have it hard too. Why ? Because many of our black males are not supporting us on our issues. Instead of admitting that rape and violence toward women happens way more to women than men they try to deny and think of all male victims instead of ALL victims. The difference? Black male victims will be treated as victims even if he is the perpetrator and he will not be blamed.

If a man is beaten by a woman there is nothing but compassion from males, there will be some females who say "maybe he provoked her" but there will be way more females who support this man.

 When a woman is beaten, many men blame the woman for doing something to provoke him or just say "it is her own fault she should have left." Where is the love?

Black women don't feel valued or protected, yet still stand behind the black man on  various issues. Why is that?

As I said in an earlier blog post : There can never be unity among us if the black woman and black man can not see the needs and show compassion for one another. I see far less compassion and support coming from the black man and I am disgusted by it.

When will black men hold other black men accountable and stop automatically denying that rape and domestic violence happens? When will black men stop ignoring every issue that women have to defend a man they don't personally know?





Friday, September 12, 2014

More excuses to not be mad at Ray Rice

Only Black people: So you can't be mad at Ray Rice if you are going to see the movie with Taraji Henson and Idris Alba because he beats her in the movie.

PLENTY of horror movies that goes back for decades involve white men killing beating and killing white women or any person for that matter. I have yet to hear a white person say "Oh I am not gonna go watch that new Jason movie. A white woman is getting beat/killed and it is gonna promote domestic violence.

It is supposed to be suspense and horror but NOOOW that you finally get some black horror movie it is a problem.Are you mad that skeletons are falling out of the closet that this actually happens in real life whether it is shown on screen or not?

Same issue with Scandal. "Why the black woman gotta be the side chick" "it's making black women look bad". Have you not seen Young and the Restless, Days of our lives, and The Bold and beautiful with PRIMARILY white casts engaging in extramarital affairs with white mistresses/side chicks but no one talks about that.

Can we just admit that some of you promote your own slavery? You're so afraid of "looking bad" to other races which means deep down you really believe that we are the worst group of people despite other races doing the same shit we do.

You're holding yourself to a much higher standard than any other group of people, and getting frustrated in the process despite the fact that whether we are perfect or not people will STILL hate us. STOP the madness!

Okay I'm done.And for the record I am not gonna see the movie and I am not a Scandal watcher. It's ridiculous that fictional characters get more backlash than real people.


Why is it that my people pay more attention to entertainment choices than addressing real issues?