Who is influencing you and where is your energy going

 There are a lot of different influences out there that people don't even think about. Most people have heard about "subliminal messages" being put out in music videos, music, and other ways but most studies say that because these messages don't reach the threshold the real influence a subliminal message can make is questionable.

While you worried about "subliminal messages" in  the mass media (music, videos,TV shoes etc) you should be worried about what is and who directly impacting your talk and walk with what is out in the open.

Every little message good or bad influence you some way or another. If your friends always have excuses then you find yourself making excuses. If your friends don't do nothing but start drama and fight people then you may find yourself involved. If you have friends that quit their dreams and always find away to discourage what you are doing because of their fears then guess what you are gonna be influenced too. Sort of like when you want to lose weight and you can't find someone to go to the gym with because everybody got excuses and no one wants to go. If you can't find friends to workout with or build up enough strength to do it on your own then what do you think is gonna happen? You will be a quitter too!

 If you only watch TV shows,read blogs, or listen to music that focus only on negative aspects of people and life yet you find it hard to pick up a positive book or listen to a motivational message then you are not living your fullest potential. What you put in your head and heart comes out in your life.

If you complain everyday about different political parties, groups of people, and some things you really can't change then you are spending too much negative energy on the wrong things. If you keep putting out everything you don't like then when will you have the energy to focus on what you do like?

Like this "Duck Dynasty" thing has been a huge blowout and whether you disagree or agree with anything Phil said the fact of the matter is this :It is his opinion. Must we go on and on about someone else's opinions that really does not matter at the end of the day?

Seems like some people get so focused on approval of others that they get distracted and become overly upset when someone disagrees with them or talk about them. Let me tell you the hard truth:

People are gonna talk regardless. You don't need everyone's approval or opinions for that matter! You don't have to have an outrage every time someone lies on you or have something negative to say about you. You don't have to spend the majority to your time answering to people who don't have a say so in your life. You are depleting yourself of the energy you need to make it through the day! You are depleting yourself of the energy you have to prosper and to be happy and healthy. Everyone does not have to agree with you, get along with you, be friends with you, or even like you! Everyone does not have to have your belief system!

You can be happy in life without trying to change how people feel. You have to realize this:
Closed minds and closed mouths don't get fed. If people are close minded forget trying to plead your case. Not worth the energy!

If people are out spreading lies, rumors, or talking about you that is okay too! Forget them and ignore them! Let others believe what they want because at the end of the day they will make up their assumptions anyway!

And if your circle is not helping you grow its okay to get a new one! Screaming "no new friends" is not gonna help you. We need others to help each other grow whether you admit it or not. Love the real ones, love people from a distance who you must put up with(family), and dismiss the fake ones. Life is too short to hold on to negative people and not experience engaging with some of the good people left. They are out there ,but you must get rid of your negative energy attracting other negative people by what you speak and put out to the universe(yes your Facebook posts count too).

As the year comes to an end it is time to spread love and grow. Out with the toxic beliefs,thoughts, and people and in with the new :A happy and healthy you that is aware of what you put in your head and heart and where you spend your energy.

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No I am not getting a relaxer again :Hear Me Out

I keep getting asked the question if I am gonna get a relaxer again. My answer is NO. Hear me out for a minute. I went natural for a few reasons(what I thought was convenient at the time) but as I grow as a person and have been deeply emerged in this "natural" state I have developed some other reasons along the way to stay natural.

I was born with curly hair you can look at my baby pics and look at my children's hair. I was not born with  with relaxed hair. My hair is kinky curly now and I am gonna die that way. Who are you to deny me the right to wear my hair the way God intended it to be? If I were living in Africa no one would call my hair nappy. You would have to deal with it!  

This is me

My baby Jordan

 

I live with fibromyalgia. Every time I picked up a flat iron or blow dryer doing my own hair my muscles would lock up and I am in pain all over. Imagine taking breaks every 5 minutes to flat iron and blow dry thick hair. Nobody got time for that! 

 I was going months without relaxers anyway because my sister (The only person who does my hair and has watched my hair grow, break off, and help me regain healthy hair) didn't live close enough to do my hair so I was dealing with really bad hair days when my hair was half relaxed and half nappy. It was not in my budget to pay someone else and I am sorry my sister is the best and no one else will ever touch my hair unless extreme emergency. 

As I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and learning what it takes to have a healthy body somehow putting manmade chemicals in my scalp that go throughout my brain does not sit right with me. Most of our bodies are filled with toxins and to be honest I don't need more toxins in my body living with a chronic illness. Everything that goes on your skin, in your mouth, and inhaled through your nose goes into your body and does damage if it is man made chemicals. I have learned so much about toxins hiding in hair products, nail salons, and even cleaning products that destroy your health without realizing it. 

 

 

 I never liked weave. Ever.(with the exception of cute braids like kinky twists and sengalease twists) When I wear it I don't look like myself and I feel ugly. Sort of feel like I have too much going on near my head and I already think my head is big lol so I tend to be my worst critics. I just hate it on myself. I love the way it looks on other people but not me. 

I am frugal and it isn't in my budget to add unnecessary hair costs that I can live without and proved that I can live without. Maybe one day in the near future if I don't live near my sister I may pay someone to straighten my hair with heat but it won't be on the regular.

I am beautiful and never felt more free than to rock my hair the way God intended it to be. I have African roots and Indian Roots. I am who I am and I love it. I never felt this confident looking in the mirror at myself. I feel like I found myself. I am not one of those people who assume everyone with a relaxer, make up or weave is insecure. Some people just enjoy doing what they are used to doing coming up or just adding some extra color or pizazz to her beauty. I, on the other hand, am a really simple girl and have never been a "girly girl". 

Maybe that's why God blessed me with 3 boys. I prefer comfort and I prefer less attention on me. I don't even wear make up. I have worn make up maybe 4 times in my life and it was just a little eye shadow at prom and hair shows I modeled in. I don't feel like I need it and while it is beautiful on other people I just believe "if it ain't broke don't fix it". I don't have time to learn how to apply it and just don't care about it. Not my thing.

While I miss the versatility of having straight semi-long  hair it was too much work for me. I don't have a "know how to do hair" bone in my body and to be honest at this point I don't have time to learn. I am trying to learn how to make my family healthier and wealthier(yes I said wealth I am not afraid of settling for more than mediocrity). To me these are more important than what hair looks like. I want to spread health and wealth to my family so that we can leave a legacy and leave the mark on this world and help LOTS and LOTS of people. Worrying about what someone else hair look like isn't healing the sick or saving kids and women from the sex trade. Worrying about someone else hair isn't helping homeless people. Worrying about other people hair is not helping those suicidal teens or abused kids. 

  I know once my hair grow more I am gonna be in trouble but for right now I am enjoying every bit of living with a chronic illness and taking care of 3 busy boys without  worrying about my hair. It is easy for me right now and I can't handle more than what I am doing now. It doesn't get any easier than slapping a lil water and oil on your hair and boom its done.Do I have bad hair days? Heck yeah but on most of my bad hair days you are not gonna see it. I will admit to being lazy sometimes because I am in too much pain or have to much fatigue to care but its MY BUSINESS. I don't go attacking people with ugly weaves or damaged relaxed hair so don't attack me for wearing my hair the way God intended it to be. I don't care how people wear their hair it is fun to wear it different sometimes but don't attack me for wanting to be simple and having just as much choice as the relaxed hair person, the permed hair, the colored hair, or the weave or wig.

 

Gotta problem with the hair God blessed me with? Take it up with him 

 

 

Lazy in pain kind of day