When will black men stop ignoring and denying rape and domestic violence to defend the black male image?

I am gonna ruffle some feathers and I am sure many will just scroll on by and say "I wish she would shut up" but I don't care.


I hate to say this but many black people disgust me with how dysfunction is defended while many protest and hoop and holla about Blue Ivy's hair! 

Whenever a black man is accused of rape or domestic violence dispute here are the following beliefs :
She probably deserved it.
She asked for it.
She's lying.
Just another woman trying to bring a black man down.


For those of you who lack knowledge of rape culture it isn't uncommon for several victims to come out after someone else shares their story. Many women keep their stories to themselves because they know the sexist world we live in.

They know that for every downfall it's the woman's fault.

 They know that they will be called liars because according to society women are inherently evil.

They know that society treat men like animals in that if a man does wrong it is because he could not control himself so you must walk on eggshells to avoid being beat,mistreated or raped.


Notice anytime a woman is accused of molestation NO one bats an eye to even see if there is an opportunity for a lie to be involved?

 No but when a man is accused he is automatically the victim.


Are there some sleezy women who try to come for wealthy men? Yes but please acknowledge the FACT that rapist have no color or socioeconomic status. Please take a look at the numbers of poor men being accused.

The ONLY reason why you don't see more stories of wealthy rapist and it takes YEARS maybe a decade for victims to get alleged justice is because no one wants to believe them.
You mean to tell me that over 10 women have came forward and were paid settlements and there is no possible way Bill could have raped them? The reason why the stories keep circulating is because people ignored it the first time!


There are probably more victims sitting back cringing at the very comments you all make and keeping it on the hush. Why? Because obviously the only issues you care about is when a woman hurts a man. The only issues you care about is when a white man does something to someone black.


Black men do me a favor and stop trying so hard to defend the black male image. You take any issue where a woman is victimized and make it about the war on Black men.
White men rape. Black men rape. Women rape too. Women lie. Men lie.There are you happy??
Now that you can move that mental block creating the cognitive dissonance?


There is a STRONG chance with a small window of doubt that the man you are a fan of is a serial rapist. Will you make this about you or actually care about the victims?


Please do some studying on the rape culture and pull your head out of your ass for a minute to understand that you could be wrong! It is okay to be wrong ya know?


I am so sick of sexism and misogyny, especially as it relates to Black people and their need to defend bullshit like rape and domestic violence against women.

I swear I have stood by and supported many cases of our black men being victims of police brutality ,men not being a part of their kids life because of stupid baby mamas, and I often talk to women about how to respect men and lift their men up ,but I see I need to focus solely on women and children issues if our men can not prove that they have the black woman's back AND stop blaming white folks for everything.


If you think the Cosby allegations having anything to do with a group of white women singling out Bill because he is black please delete me as a friend. Clearly, your "everyone out to get us" mentality is clouding your ability to think! (No denying y'all have it hard ).


Last,but not least, don't you dare call yourself a leader if you can not call out a man that looks like you on his bullshit!


At some point you have to put your feelings aside, and mommy issues and educate yourself on matters other than what you experience!

 If you believe EVERY single black men who was accused of some heinous crime is innocent and EVERY said victim is a liar it is probably a bias or some sort of hate for women you are holding on to. It is probably some kind of pain and your frustration that black men get accused of things all the time. You use issues like this to take personal because you feel you need to defend the black male image. The problem in your thinking is that you are trying to protect yourself from judgement from other races.

 Black men are NOT the only ones to rape, abuse, kill, or be violent towards each other. YOU don't have to defend EVERY man who is accused. YOU were not there and just because you have a hard time believing that women are being victimized does not mean it does not exist. Just because you were taught that all women are greedy,liars, and manipulative does not mean it is fact. Just because you can point out a handful of stories where women were lying or you THOUGHT they were lying does not make it fact.

You have NO IDEA how many women take rape to their graves because they are afraid to tell someone and afraid to get in front of a sexist officer that asks her "what were you wearing? Were you drinking? It is your fault." All things that does not matter in reality. With that said, don't assume that when you have a case of an alleged serial rapist that a group of women are just plotting to bring a man down. Don't assume that just because a woman breaks her speech after a decade that it didn't happen.

In the same breath, you defend a man you don't personally know and say "everything the media says isn't true" "every accusation isn't fact" I can easily say just because you don't want to see your favorite comedian in a negative light doesn't mean the accusations aren't true. Just because you are trying hard to defend the black male image does not mean that Bill or any other man is telling the truth.


If you care more to learn about rape go to www.rainn.org to see the statistics and history. If you want to go even further how about study the psychology and sociology of women and men. Take a history class to learn about the oppression of women. Just as you feel black males are oppressed, women are too. And to go even deeper black women have it hard too. Why ? Because many of our black males are not supporting us on our issues. Instead of admitting that rape and violence toward women happens way more to women than men they try to deny and think of all male victims instead of ALL victims. The difference? Black male victims will be treated as victims even if he is the perpetrator and he will not be blamed.

If a man is beaten by a woman there is nothing but compassion from males, there will be some females who say "maybe he provoked her" but there will be way more females who support this man.

 When a woman is beaten, many men blame the woman for doing something to provoke him or just say "it is her own fault she should have left." Where is the love?

Black women don't feel valued or protected, yet still stand behind the black man on  various issues. Why is that?

As I said in an earlier blog post : There can never be unity among us if the black woman and black man can not see the needs and show compassion for one another. I see far less compassion and support coming from the black man and I am disgusted by it.

When will black men hold other black men accountable and stop automatically denying that rape and domestic violence happens? When will black men stop ignoring every issue that women have to defend a man they don't personally know?

More excuses to not be mad at Ray Rice

Only Black people: So you can't be mad at Ray Rice if you are going to see the movie with Taraji Henson and Idris Alba because he beats her in the movie.

PLENTY of horror movies that goes back for decades involve white men killing beating and killing white women or any person for that matter. I have yet to hear a white person say "Oh I am not gonna go watch that new Jason movie. A white woman is getting beat/killed and it is gonna promote domestic violence.

It is supposed to be suspense and horror but NOOOW that you finally get some black horror movie it is a problem.Are you mad that skeletons are falling out of the closet that this actually happens in real life whether it is shown on screen or not?

Same issue with Scandal. "Why the black woman gotta be the side chick" "it's making black women look bad". Have you not seen Young and the Restless, Days of our lives, and The Bold and beautiful with PRIMARILY white casts engaging in extramarital affairs with white mistresses/side chicks but no one talks about that.

Can we just admit that some of you promote your own slavery? You're so afraid of "looking bad" to other races which means deep down you really believe that we are the worst group of people despite other races doing the same shit we do.

You're holding yourself to a much higher standard than any other group of people, and getting frustrated in the process despite the fact that whether we are perfect or not people will STILL hate us. STOP the madness!

Okay I'm done.And for the record I am not gonna see the movie and I am not a Scandal watcher. It's ridiculous that fictional characters get more backlash than real people.

Why is it that my people pay more attention to entertainment choices than addressing real issues?

Where are the Black men??

Funny how the black men who claim they want the black community to do better are the first ones dismissing domestic violence.

Instead of addressing the perpetrators role they start thinking of women who have hit men to defend men.

News flash: No one denies that women hit men sometimes. But there is something wrong when your only concern is defending the black male image that you ignore black women problems.

I see many black women standing up for black men that are victims of police brutality but when it's time for black men to stand up for our rights and dignity it's nonexistent.

Some of you black men are the most sensitive, egotistical, and irrational guys on the planet. You only see your pain and if you want to know why the black community it's because you're too busy blaming women for their problems, and expect utmost respect and unlimited support even when you are WRONG.

You say black women aren't supportive but anyone with eyes can see women on the streets of Ferguson, women blindly following you behind your non existent rap careers,women standing by you while you cheat and lie. Women not putting you on child support to save your ass women going above and beyond when you don't have a job, women really at arms with others to defend your image but where is the support of black women issues?

Apparently :
Rape is her fault
Abuse is her fault
Sorry baby daddy is her fault
Having to use government assistance is her fault
Getting cheat on and lied to is her fault

But where are you? When will you stop defending the black male image and criticize yourselves just as hard as you go in on women!

The black community is in trouble because of the lack of unity. The black man desires power so much that he ignores the issues of black women. Somehow all of women's issues are pathological and their fault while the black man's issues are because of the white man and black woman?



Update:
I wrote this post in September 2014. As my frustration grew I made a spoken word poem called "Dear Black Man"in February 2015

Drop me a comment and share this if you feel it

Why value isn't enough to end racism

There are so many black people that believe that if "we" just start being better people we will get more respect from other races. If "we" stop all this "black on black crime "we will get get more respect and "they" will stop killing us.

If "we" just get off of welfare, stop watching reality TV, stop listening to rap, and "do better" we will get more respect.

Well let me shut it down and tell you why "value of self" isn't enough.

1) If I see "black on black" crime term again I will scream. Please do your research.  This term was created by black people to rationalize why we are wronged so much. It isn't a real epidemic. If 84-86% of white people kill white people and 94 to 96% of black people kill black people then what is the underlying factor? People victimize people they know. Forget all the "strangers will kill you" crap. Yes it happens but you have a way higher percentage of being victimized by someone you know, acquainted with, or live near. Basic criminal justice knowledge.

STOP acting like black people are the only ones that commit crimes against each other. NOT TRUE!  YES there are some places where black people live where homicide is really high like Chicago. But race itself isn't the only factor. Poverty is the main thing. You put any group of people in an area where joblessness is low, education is poor, and there is a lot of frustration you will see a lot of crime. COMMON SENSE. Only thing is Black people have a smaller chance of "getting out" the hood if they aren't resilient especially with institutional racism in play. Am I saying that black people should not be held accountable for their lives? No not at all what I am saying is if a study shows that a white man with a crack charge has a better chance of getting a job than a black man with no record that is a problem.

If a black teen makes a dumb mistake like stealing from a store or robbing someone because his mom is a single mom working 3 jobs, has no male authority figures, and have struggled in school for years and still struggling this guy may not ever get a second chance. He goes to jail has a record gets out and everywhere he goes turns him down because of a mistake he made long before his frontal lobes are developed. Then what? What will you do if you can't find a job or you are walking around asking people can you cut their grass and they tell you no? They will find drugs to sell because what other choice does he has? Sure everyone will say "he should try harder " but were you in his shoes?

If the same happened to a white kid or Asian kid they are likely to be forgiven easily and has more connections with elite people.

So know that crime in the black community or ANY community has its place. Sure some people have no morals. Sure some people should just make better decisions. But sometimes crime serves as an outlet for frustration and survival.

2) Please STOP acting as if black people are the only ones on World Star or on Reality TV acting a fool I recall reality TV being started by white people and seeing girls on Real World and Bad Girls club wild out, fight each other, and act like little kids. So now it is an epidemic in the black community for entertainment choices such as Real House Wives of Atlanta and Love and Hip Hop? Sure everything is not everybody's cup of tea but please if you think problems will go away because someone stops watching trash television then you don't even have a clue where the problem started.

Then there are the pseudoconscious black folks that don't watch Scandal because "they had to choose a black woman to be a side chick for a white man" "It's just like slavery over and over again". Really people? I recall Days of our lives, As the World turns, and The Bold and Beautiful showing adulterous relationships where it was predominantly white cast where WHITE women were side pieces to WHITE men. So NOW it is a problem because a white man is screwing a black woman? If it were a black man having sex with a white woman on the show there would be "oh look at the interracial love".  SO PLEASE if you think Scandal and TV shows affect our community so much then I think you should think that through a lil bit ESPECIALLY if your life mirrors what is going on on the shows.

3) Rap. Everyone says rap music has ruined this generation. Well let's take a step back and look at the people who raised this generation and then where Hip Hop started. Hip Hop started as an outlet to voice concerns and frustration with police brutality, racism, and the struggle of living in the hood. Pay attention here : the lifestyles were already being lived and someone then came along to share the stories. Now anyone would be naive to believe that music isn't an influence but please stop blaming all of the problems in the black community on rap music! STOP! Sure there is a lot of garbage music out that degrades certain types of women, influence drug selling, murder etc but everyone who listens to it is not gonna do it. It becomes the chicken and egg argument in some cases : I sell drugs I heard music I related too so I listened to it. I heard dreams of making it out of the hood and having money so I listened to it. Think about that.

Blaming rap music for the souls of this generation is pretty much blaming Mcdonalds for your obese child. You didn't have to eat there! You need to see what CDS your kid has on their computers and mobile devices. You need to supervise them PERIOD!

Confession: I love Hip Hop and some rap. I think a lot is garbage. I enjoy lyrics and nice beats. Back before Lil Wayne went commercial I enjoyed his music. He was a lyrical beast with punchlines, stories, and wit. I loved the whole cash money team when it was Juvenile, BG, Turk, Wayne, and the Big Tymers.I love Nas, Lupe Fiasco, some Lil Boosie, some Gucci Mane(although I think he says stupid shit), Yo Gotti, I LOOOOOVE Young Jeezy since before Trap or Die. Something about his confidence and demeanor. I love people like Beanie Sigel, Big Krit, some Jay Z, Pastor Troy, and the list could go on!If you personally know me you know that I have always been a music fan and I do have some "hood choices" lol Judge as you wish! 

 I love all types of music from RnB, to pop, some country. But since we talking about rap wanna guess a few things?  Guess how many drugs I have sold? Guess how many guys I sold sex to? Guess how many people I have killed : 0. Guess how much brand name clothes and expensive shit I buy? Not much.

Do I love to twerk a little? I love dance period. Twerking came from Africa for entertainment but I am not on Youtube posting it soley for the sake of likes and comments and to entice men. Research African dance and you will see that it's been around and moving the hips are not just for video vixens and hoes. I can twerk, I can choreograph  dances without twerking. I can do dances seen by the likes of Aaliyah, Ciara, and Usher. If I got training I could do ballet.

Point is don't judge someone and act as if these  people are the downfall of the community when it is entertainment and these people don't live in your house and don't even engage in your circle. I have a degree from Lander University and I completed 2 years of grad school at the University of South Carolina. If I'm not a worthy woman because I listen to rap and watch some trash television then shoot me for having no criminal record.



4) Welfare : "Black people need to stop living on the system". We aren't the only ones on the system and if you do research for stats you will find that we are not the highest number by race when it comes to welfare. And welfare doesn't make someone lazy either. Sure you probably know some lazy freeloading people but don't let that confuse you and think that black people are the only ones.


So why value isn't enough? Because since the days of Jim Crow and the ones in power have sent messages that Black people aren't human, they are savages that is why they must be slaves and segregated, and "black men are dangerous" has been embedded in media outlets from the beginning of time there will people who will always fear us and hate us. You can think all day that these videos circulating about black people beating up a white person, or doing some stupid shit is making people look on the outside in and think we don't deserve justice then that is racism in itself. So statistics and research show that white men rape people more than any other race, not to say that something is wrong with them but it happens.

 So when I see a white man rape someone I am suppose to take it out on the whole entire race of white people and assume they are all rapist? So when I see a video of a white person calling black people niggers and negroes am I suppose to take it out on all white people and assume they are all that way? What does that do for the victims? You will never hear a white person child get killed by a black person and hear someone else say "well what about white on white crime." What the hell does that do for the victim ? Not a damn thing.

I see people of all races on twerk videos, reality tv, killing each other, doing drugs, etc but you say that if black people stopped doing all this racism would end? Bull shit.

Yes black people have a lot of work to do. We gotta get past the mental slavery that we must be perfect and like everyone else to get justice. We must stop putting each other down and helping each other up. We need to stop worrying and signing petitions for Blue Ivy's hair and other dumb shit and focus on being better for the sake of being better.

Why value isn't enough? We really need to value ourselves and stop thinking being close to being flawless is going to make others treat us better. That is pretty much ignoring the fact that other races have some of the same problems we do!

 This "if we value us others will " mindset is similar to that of how women and children are mistreated. We are told that if they just be obedient and quiet all would be good knowing that we can barely control ourselves, let alone try to control others.
Slave mentality!

The ones who hold the power are the only ones to fix this. This is the problem with White supremacy. We can definitely try our hardest to hold positions for power but until we get there and start protesting a lot of the matters where institutional racism exists nothing may change. Even then, if white supremacy is profitable it may never change but we sure can try.

So yes we need to do better and value ourselves more. That goes for any group of people. Yes we got problems but c'mon lets not ignore that the human race in general got problems.

 The next time someone says if black people would do better and value ourselves more we would get treated better remind them that Malcolm X and Martin Luther King were shot in suits. You're not exempt because you are educated and don't look like a thug.

The problem is we aren't the only people filled with hate the whole world is. Hate and evil has to end and compassion and understanding must begin. Get an education(not just limited to a classroom setting), Mentor a young person. Start supporting black businesses. Stop hating others for nothing. Start spreading love and don't lose your voice.

The. End.

Where is the outrage for Black on Black Crime!

Wanna know why there is no black on black crime protests? Because Black perpetrators whether they kill a black or white person actually serve time in prison and are held accountable for their actions. If a black person without money kills a white person even though rare statistically they almost always get the death penalty.

Also because there are also no white on white crime protests. Or Asian on Asian crime protests or Latino on Latino protests. If 84 to 86 % white murderers kill other white people and 94 to 96% of black people kill black people (people they know!) then why are people demanding ONLY black people protest it if there is barely a difference statistically?

There are protests for cops and cop wannabes who have a LONG history of killing unarmed people (high numbers being black people) because they are not held accountable. Racial profiling, harassment against homeless, mentally ill, women or anyone who they KNOW they can get away with killing they will do it because they know as long as there are no cameras they can make up anything.

Without cameras they will always paint the black person as aggressive or deserving of death and leave their bodies on the street for hours.And they will barely get a slap on the wrist so long as the victim's family can't afford a good lawyer or the jury is not chosen fairly.

So please stop making it about just black people getting mad because a white person killed a black person. It is NOT for those who actually studied this stuff in depth.

It is about cops and cop wannabes needing to stop racial profiling, harassing others, and abusing their position of power and actually get punished!

When they do actually get PUNISHED for it in the same way the black man kills another black man or a white man kills another white man who are NOT cops people will stop protesting!

Why is that so hard to understand? If your unarmed sister, brother, son, uncle or daddy gets shot by a cop are you gonna say " well others get killed all the time". What exactly do they have to do with the individuals involved who were wronged?

It's not about protesting interracial murders people. An outrage isn't needed when perpetrators are punished and cops are treated the same way as the people they arrest! Got it? It's levels to this ish!

Shut the HELL UP about the ALS Bucket Challenge Pseudoconscious Black folks

I can't stand when people who aren't doing anything to help a cause tear down those who do. Some of you self-righteous pseudo conscious black people make me sick.

"I won't participate in the ice bucket challenge because back in 1862 they poured water over slaves head and killed them" Do you honestly think that racist people think that much of us to create a challenge for the SOLE focus of disrespecting black people? Why the hell are ALL races participating then? Intent is everything pretty much ANYTHING has an alternative meaning to it.

"ALS don't affect black people so why participate" the same reason why you think people should support us in fighting anything else!

Where the hell is your money or time, or awareness challenge when any other disease that does affect black people come up? I haven't seen it! There is no logic in that!

I am a black person raising money for help with fibromyalgia I have had two very nice people donate and I know you see it on your timeline but you mad cuz someone else donating to a "white people" cause whatever the hell that is LOL Hell I don't have ALS but I know several black women with Lupus and Fibromyalgia that are in similar pain as those but I don't see y'all trying to raise awareness for that!

Bottom line:. If you not devoting time or money to any cause then SHUT THE HELL UP about the ones that are!

"You just need to get out more" "You just need to enjoy yourself more"

 "If you just got out of the house more you wouldn't be in as much pain." "If you just enjoy yourself you won't be as tired or in pain." "Everyone needs time to their self"------->Says the person with no work restrictions, no kids, and no chronic illness.

Why gee I'd love to take advantage of that except it costs money to get a break from your kids. It costs money to take care of myself(buying herbs, vitamins, foods, raising money for medical tests, etc) yet I can't work a "regular" job to pay myself so you know what I do?

Spend hours online looking for new clients and doing the work I was hired to do by the few clients I have in the LITTLE time that I have . Mind you that is  ALL in the midst of tantrums, fights, cooking,cleaning, teaching and caring for kids with chronic pain,fatigue, brain fog, weakness, and 100 other things going on in my body.

So sure if you want me to have a break I will gladly accept donations for a babysitter, cab fare, plus money to go somewhere, a cook, a maid, and money to hang out. I'd love one but until then it's grind time and if I don't at least try I will be way worse off. So in the process I will put myself through more pain TRYING to do what I can since NO one else is gonna take care of me.

You're gonna pay my bills or nah?  You gonna come watch my kids when I'm in too much pain or extreme fatigue to move and when I want to "hang out" or nah? Just asking.

When you tell me what I can do to get better you damn sure better provide some help with the solutions you suggest.Until then I will be overworking myself because I have no other choice.

Believe me. I do everything I can to get better you may not understand it because you think you know it all. You don't know how hard I try. You don't feel what I feel. So thanks for your suggestions but will you be providing for me? I think not.

Thanks for your understanding.


If you would like to contribute to my Get back to health and work fund click here

If you would like to contribute to my business fund so that I can outsource and hire others to help me with my business so that I can have more time to rest click here

Why are black people and everyone else so hard on black people?

Please forgive me for not adding as many sources to back up claims I am writing from my Iphone and not able to access as much . And please forgive me if this is hard to follow or too random but read and I wanna here your thoughts


Why are Black people and the rest of the world so hard on us?

With the recent shootings I have been seeing the discussions on Facebook . Some are outraged that more people said something on Facebook about Robin Williams and not the unarmed young man that was gunned down. Then there are some posting that we should value ourselves more then others will.


Then comes the common argument "nobody has an outrage about black on black crime". Well I wanna pick both of these thought processes a part and get you really thinking about what the real issue is.

Let's talk value. So what are you saying is if we act better others will respect us more. So what behaviors are you judging? Things you see on YouTube, reality TV, local news or in your neighborhood? Do we not see white people and people of other races doing ignorant things?

Yet we never hear about black cops targeting unarmed white young boys. When a white person is killed by a black person they have an outrage because they think black people are getting out of control based on media representation and a few ignorant ones they had experienced. This also happens when a person who is not black kills a black person and then black people feel that others are getting out of control. (Inspired by my friend Ebony Imhotep)

When white people wanna protest or say something you never hear another white person say " well what about white on white crime" according to statistics from FBI 84% of whites kill whites and this 93 % of blacks kill blacks. Intraracial murder is rare statistically for both races and when it occurs it's not always racially motivated. Most are acquaintances or spouses of the killer. http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf

One could argue that black people represent a smaller population than whites but you also have to take racism, poverty, and other factors in to play and realize that statistics do have some flaws. These numbers represent those that have been convicted not accused.

We all know that most White people have not been convicted of crimes in the same way as blacks because they often have connections or access to good lawyers at a better rate than blacks and Latinos. We see it over and over again where black people can do the same crime as whites but given the death penalty or thrown the book way more. I don't feel like providing stats for that but if you have taken sociology or even criminal justice classes you can find several studies on this and you can even see it in the news.

Okay I got off topic a little , but again you never see white people yelling "white on white crime is an epidemic maybe these black people will stop killing us if we valued ourselves more."

Have you not seen some white people doing the same ratchet and engaging in poor behavior? I've seen white people be violent, I've seen white people do twerk videos, I've seen white people act a fool on TV, I've seen some addicted to drugs and alcohol. I've seen some steal, rape and kill.

Just to clarify I see many races doing this, But these things seem to be the first type of behaviors that people list when they say black people need to do better and then others might respect us more.

Think about if you were an unarmed person who never gave a reason to be shot but was killed by a cop who sought you out. So you should be held accountable for the actions of others to get some value to your life? How fair is that? If I'm killed by a white cop I would hope people wouldn't be so ignorant to act as if my life isn't important on the basis of other broken or careless people if I am truly innocent.

Why are black people the only race that says "black on black" crime when there is no such term and we feel as if everyone else should act a certain way to get respect?

What about slavery and Jim Crow days when black people were getting killed and told where to use the bathroom, where to eat, and where to go to school? Black people had no chance to be " bad people" except when they retaliated. So what was the excuse for white cops to kill black people then?

You see this is more than about a black life being taken at the hands of a white person. It is yet again the reality that police brutality and authority figures indecency against young black men is NOT new. it seems that black people have been held to higher standards than any other race because of media misrepresentation and programmed beliefs. I recall being in a psychology class where we learned about a study with subliminal games where the player had to shoot the bad guy who came up on the screen. "coincidentally" when white people played the game the bad guy was black the majority of the time when a black face was shown at the same rate as white faces. This was a study done years ago but it still holds truth in 2014!

This is not the original but you can do some research and find the actual research journals by using "racial bias studies" in google and looking for journals and go to the original article http://magazine.uchicago.edu/0778/investigations/shooters_choice.shtml

In the comments below I will show you a shocking number that raises a lot of red flags that shows some statistic figures for "justifiable homicides" where you will see hardly no difference between black and white citizens killing a felon. However the numbers change DRASTICALLY when the cop was white. Statistics don't really give full answers but the number either indicates that there are a whole bunch of white cops nationwide which makes sense but number seems still high when it came to white cops killing black perpetrators.

The fact of the matter is from the beginning of time Black people have not only been misrepresented and judged more by other races based on bias and half-truths, but black people have also judged each other even harder than those people even when it was the truth.

Why are people so sympathetic toward school shooters( who are never black btw)and those who commit suicide say "mental illness is real" but when it comes to Black people killing each other in Chicago no one mentions mental illness. They mention "These niggas are out of control" "these niggas are savages"

When we stop beating ourselves up and acting as if we have to be perfect for others to get justice? When will we show others that every life is to be valued?

I for one am not a fan of the alleged "black on black" crime. As a person who did a 25 page research paper in undergrad about Homicide and Young Black males trust me I know how bad it is. It's not an easy fix to just post on Facebook and say "nobody is saying anything about Black on Black crime" what can we really do about it? There is a lot like becoming more educated, stop teaching violence in homes, start getting mental health issues addressed instead of beating the hell out of kids, and encouraging those to "pray about it" instead of seeking help, get involved with the youth and letting them know they are valued, showing them that there is more to do than sell drugs and kill, and the list goes on.

When I hear about black killing blacks I see it as one broken person was inconsiderate to another. Sometimes I just think uneducated, stupid or heartless. Sometimes I think mentally ill. Again can a white person stop another white person from killing? Are these not the same reasons any other race kill each other?

We really as a whole can't do anything about the police brutality until we hold more power. The power is not in backing down and settling or burning down businesses, but raising awareness is the first step. However, raising awareness is failing because some black people are fighting alone and the others are at war with themselves. What to do?

There are already several of black people getting educations,starting businesses, and serving in the communities so whether or not every single person changed we still run into the issue of dealing with the system. Not enough people seeing the bigger problem instead of focusing on the wrong things.

So where do we begin to stop believing that our lives are not of value just because of the actions of other Black people that are at low points?


And don't let me get started with the black people who claim they wanna see their people do better economically, but as so as someone Black starts a business or go after their dream they won't support it.

They sit back as watch them struggle through the beginning stages and get mad if a white person helps them with their business YET these black people are nowhere to be found until they can see where they can stamp their name or have a piece. They come supporting you after your great idea is famous on social media or TV. But you know what that's another topic.lol

But why are black people so hard on other black people when the rest of the world already is? Million dollar question

You don't know my struggle so don't judge my fight

When you let others do the thinking for you they control your life to some extent. I was told I was too "pushy" about my health.

You mean proactive? You mean actually consider something else outside of "here is your diagnosis here take these pills hope it works" ? You mean I should just settle for what doctors who have never experienced what I experience tell me what is best for ME?  If I took what most doctors say without doing research on myself I would be on 10 different meds and over half treating side effects of one or two meds.

I think some people have a problem with people challenging anyone and being informed because of a natural desire to want to be better rather than being motivated by money and being set on ONE way doing things.

My apologies for continuously reading books and studies on diets and different medical perspectives that have SAVED people's livelihood unlike some of those doctors saying diet is not a factor, and there is no way of treating yourself without poisoning yourself.

You live and you learn. What I have learned is that no matter how many years someone has been in school for a subject , I am the one that live with my condition and I know it better than someone who does not have it or live with me to know how bad it is. Experience trumps book knowledge and popular opinions. I have tried several regimens and found one where I can function instead of laying down all day on some meds not being able to care for my kids because I am simply existing in space and not living.

I am the one that has found a regimen to have as much energy as possible and being able to care for my kids.I am the one that has spent hours researching and testing things for myself. 

My apologies for looking for answers instead of accepting the only way to do the least work possible on my behalf.  Because it is much easier to take 5 meds than actually change your diet, try to exercise, and try to manage stress to get to the root of the problem. If you are content with living with a chronic illness of any kind then maybe you haven't reached my level of disappointment with having a limited life.

Maybe it has never taken you an hour to get out of bed because you were in too much pain to move. Maybe you haven't seen yourself go from active runner and dancer that would run a mile, lift weights and go to a 3 hour dance practice with little pain to having back pain and pain all over from every little move, and not being able to move the next day because you may have did too much when you thought you were doing little.

 Maybe you haven't fell asleep in important meetings and classes that were supposed to push you further toward your career(sleep obtrusions). Maybe you didn't have to give up driving because your vision goes blurry and your legs go numb(numbness and tingling plus vision problems).

 Maybe you haven't been sick enough to the point that all you can do is lay on a couch all day and pray your kids take a nap so that you can get some rest(chronic fatigue). Maybe you have no problems giving directions to where you live without having to use google. Maybe you have no problem retrieving memories that are so simple (brain fog).

 Maybe you have never felt like curling up to die because you feel so bad and have to pretend you are just fine so others won't feel sorry for you or say that you are exaggerating.

Maybe you didn't have to give up a 3.7 GPA in a prestigious graduate study program and have to face the day seeing your classmates graduate when you should be walking across the stage with them.

Maybe you don't have to worry about anxiety and pain going hand in hand after you spend too much time doing work at home on the computer.  Maybe you don't have to make the choice of making every attempt to work at home because you have no other option or taking days off of your work to rest and take care of yourself.

Maybe you have no problem falling asleep at night and staying asleep because one of your arms hurts too much but then if you lay on the other side your hip hurts, can't lay on your back because it hurts can't lay on your stomach because your back hurts. You wake up with racing thoughts and some new pain.

Maybe you have never went to the hospital thinking you were about to have a heart attack but it was really an anxiety attack and TMJ.

Maybe you have no problem finding a sitter to watch your kids so you can simply get a break and rest.

Maybe you don't have to worry about not being able to comb your hair because holding your arms over your head hurts too much. Maybe you have no problem cleaning up with commercial household cleaners and getting lightheaded 1 second after they are sprayed.Maybe you have no problem avoiding household work because every time you stand up for 2 minutes your leg burns.

Maybe you have no problem going all day without eating and have to worry about dizziness, feeling lightheaded and weak.

Maybe you have no problem eating anything you want without flaring up  with pain and fatigue to the point of not being able to lift your head up so you gotta cook all your meals and spend hours researching what you may need to cut out of your diet next just to function.  Maybe you have no problem standing up to do dishes and have to worry about throwing your back out or having neck pain.

Maybe you have no problem working on a job of your choice and not have to worry about getting fired because you can't stay awake no matter how many hours of sleep you get, you don't know one day from the next if you will have trouble standing or simply holding a phone in your hand. Maybe you have no problem with your memory and don't have to be told countless times what to do without having a piece of paper beside you. Maybe you don't have to worry about a small amount of stress bringing on pain and headaches and constant rushes to the bathroom (IBS). Maybe you don't have to worry about sitting at a computer for 10 minutes and the muscles in your fingers, arms, and back starts locking up. Maybe you have no problem trying to do all you can to keep up a household and be a good parent without pain to the point that you must stop what you are doing every 5 minutes because the pain is too much.

I could keep going because this isn't even the half of what I have to deal with. So when you say I am too pushy you remember this until you are at a fight with your own body and mind you can't afford to wait for someone else to fix your problems. You do all you can to do what you can in your circumstances.

If my wanting to get out of the house and have a normal life instead of chatting with people in their 40s about what they are doing for pain,fatigue and brain fog then I am sorry. If my wanting to be able to play with my kids without fearing I am gonna get put in the hospital I am sorry.

If my wanting to get my life back is too much for you then maybe you haven't struggled enough. Until you can come over and watch my kids so I can get out of the house or take a rest then shut the hell up. Until you can come clean my house and cook all my "special" meals for me then shut the hell up. Until you can give me money to see the doctors I need to and pay for testing and treatment  shut the hell up.

Until then I am not giving up on my health and settling for a sick lifestyle where I take a med and 6 different herbs and vitamins JUST to get out of bed in the morning. Until then I will watch what I eat, I will read books, I will try to get money the best and most flexible way I can from my laptop, and I will tell your ass off if you come to me incorrect because I will allow no one to stress me. If you can't contribute to my journey to healing then stay out of my way.

You don't know my struggle so don't judge my fight.

Share this with all your spoonie friends with Fibromyalgia, CFS, Lupus, MS, Dystonia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and any other "incurable" chronic illnesses that limit your lifestyle. 
The end.